So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
