He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
