Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
