He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
