Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
sex in a hospital.. check
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
