Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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