i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize