kristin has been a bad kristin
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
