Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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