from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
