I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
