I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
they need to just BURY HIM!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
