I forgot how hot balto sounded
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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