You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
