she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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