You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
