i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize