So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
