Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
