She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
vagina is talking i cant
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
