Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
