Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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