you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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