PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
