Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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