Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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