Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My dick has a subreddit
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
