she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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