What a fucking waste of an outfit
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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