is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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