I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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