please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
