My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
