with your own penis?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
