I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
