dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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