I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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