I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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