He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
