the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize