Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
