WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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