Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
