OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
