Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
