I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize