Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
