So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Small penises have feelings too.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Randomize
