why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
