i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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