do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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