the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
