It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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