I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just had sex bonerless
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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