Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
