Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
