Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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