She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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