Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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