She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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