im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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