Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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