I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize