I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
