the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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