Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
