remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
