your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
