my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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