I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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