Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
