It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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