She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I enjoy the company of your penis
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
